You're Still Fat

An Ode to Starbucks Holiday Cups

Food, PoemBen HeinemannComment

The arrival of Starbucks' Red Cups signals a transitional moment for many basics, a moment that can be a little scary for many, as Pumpkin Spice Lattes give way to the Peppermint Mochas and Gingerbread lattes. The striking red of the cups can also compliment or totally ruin a looq, so to make sense out of all of this, here's Ben with an ode to the Red Cups. 

Where the fuq is my PSL?

No, I'm not okay, I need a fucking Xanax.

Fa la la la latte?

Lol K.


The warm sugary liquid warms my body

As I clasp my hands around this beautiful crimson creation.

Oh wait, that's just the Xanax.


Flames, on the side of my face.

Breathless, heaving... heaving breaths.



Visions of Starbucks Red Cups

Dancing in my head.

Oops, that wasn't a Xanax...