You're Still Fat

Holiday Packing List

Holiday, Looqs, obesityLiza RushComment

‘Tis the season of stuffing, receiving, and packing (our middles). So if your head is fogged with visions of sugar calories and you just threw that monokini into your trapeze tote for the trip home - STOP. We’ve pieced together a few last minute looqs just in case you run into your ex, ex-BFF, and even your middle school crush who last saw you when your xmas list was full of herbal essence and neutrogena products (yikes). 

packing list

DO PACK: 

  • The matching pair of Aldo earmuffs that we found on sale for a smooth $12 even
  • Xanax, to exist
  • Our iPads for when we need a private moment with Netflix
  • Headphones. "Can you just...turn it down a little bit?"
  • A little black dreXCUSE ME COMING THROUGH...
  • Camouflaging looqs to hide our year-long weight gain #committed 
  • Something sequined
  • A bottle of champagne, just in case. 
  • 20 pairs of tights (per day)
  • Under eye makeup to conceal hangovers
  • Your skinniest looq for when you see your HS (ex)-friends. Make sure to say "this is going to sound so shallow but what was your name again??" to everyone that tries to speak to you.
  • ...But also some really really really old clothes that were formerly in a trash bag, so your mom will see and take you shopping
  • Four coats and a pair of high heels that will all go unworn
  • One pair of leggings that you'll actually wear every day in place of everything else you pack
  • Laxatives (god bless)
  • Emergency cigarettes

DON'T PACK

Earmuffs / Headphones / Dress / Bag / Shoes: '13 Dior / Coats 1 2 3 4