You're Still Fat

Which Holiday Bitch Are You?

quiz, HolidayCaitlin VanderKlokComment
bitches

DIRECTIONS:

embrace your inner ebenezer and Add up the number of points of each of your answers below to find out who your true, scientifically-proven, dermatologically-tested Holiday Bitch-mate is.


  1. Baking Christmas cookies with your mom has always been chic. But this year, your vegan cousin is requesting "animal-free" sugar cut-outs, heavily limiting your calorie intake and creative palette. You: 
    • Consider it a challenge and overuse the red frosting on the reindeer cut-outs ;)      5 points
    • Don't give a fuq and throw in a double batch of butter anyway...oopsie!      4 points
    • Mix the batter, accidentally add eggs, then take one for the team and consume it raw.      3 points
  2. On your second serving of french toast Christmas morning, your recently anorexic sister decides to comment on your consumption. You: 
    • Dip your spoon in the pseudo-melted unsalted butter and fling it directly into her blonde blowout.      5 points
    • Roll your eyes, pile on another serving and silently plot how you'll tell her the stuffing is gluten-free later...      4 points
    • Don't even hear her over the sizzling of the bacon.      2 points
  3. Your holiday looq consists of: 
    • Fur, fur, and fur      1 point
    • A LOT of low cut red, devil ears, and desperation (in case that wasn't already implied).       3 points
    • 19th-century inspired garb and a generally dismal attitude       5 points
  4. It's gifting time with your S.O. and his eyes are glued to your face as you unwrap...a Kay Jewelers' box. You: 
    • Can't even (hide your disdain).       1 point
    • Accept it graciously and immediately put it on over your turtleneck sweater.       2 points
    • Open it, smile and think about how much you can pawn it for, while simultaneously wondering what his paycheck is.      6 points
  5. You're the last one up and there's the last of Grandma's cookies on the table. You: 
    • Glue it to the plate.       1 point
    • Eat it swiftly and in silence       7 points
    • Hold it for ransom (hey, you need the money).      4 points

...and you're pregnant with holiday hormones! Add your points together & follow the button below to see how big of a holiday bitch you must be.