You're Still Fat

Your Low-Cal Guide to #NYFW

Fashim, Looqs, fashion weekCaitlin VanderKlokComment

Fashion Week is wrapping up in New York and we've been collaging in our burn book all about it. 

And as Lord Paul Cunningham declares "eat with your eyes" because we all know your thighs don't need it, adjust your retina screens now because your pupils are about to get really fat with take-out. I mean, takeaways: 

NYFW

Here's the skinny:

  • The manboob took on a whole new meaning at the Bushwick Drag Festival 
  • Nicki Minaj taught models how to Anaconda and our eyes were actually attacked with an anaconda of pre menstrual cramps.
  • The girls at Rodarte ditched their usual ethereal looqs for some heavy metal shit by faux-piercing everyone's eyebrows not just once, twice, three times a lady, but about 20 times. The looq gives a chicly subtle nod to ancient Chinese torture techniques to be channeled for your parents' wedding renewal!!!
  • Our favorite Duchess of Cambridge was blessed with nine months of over-eating (god bless) beginning with an appetizer full of vom.  
  • Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, why won't my husband allow me to dye my hair gray and pink like Dascha Polanco at Tracy Reese? We and the senior citizen community everywhere salute you, D.
  • Ashley and Mary Kate released a Vine video before the The Row show and, uh, we all realized their on-screen talent peaked at How the West was Fun
  • Anna Wintour still uses a flip phone which, is presumably why she never takes selfies. 
  • Not mentioned in this episode of "What Miley Wore": a tiger mask. Reviews still TBD if they complimented her bandaged nipples.
  • Anna answered 73 questions on Vogue Video and we learned that her longest-lasting employee is...her desk. 
  • Still realizing he'll never do chicer than Sarah Silverman, Jimmy Kimmel attempted to redeem himself yet again with his take on NYFW