You're Still Fat

Fat Camp (a YSF Guide For Fall)

looqs, obesity, TravelLiza RushComment
Fall is here so SHHHHHHHH.

Fall is here so SHHHHHHHH.

Fall is here, and like rose gold clockwork, our inner basics were screaming to get out and immediately retrieve the nectar of the North Face gods - a PSL. So last weekend, we said OK ALREADY, hopped in a car, and really embraced the return of fabric between our thighs as we set out on the first annual official YSF Fall Roadtrip. So hike up your Lululemon yoga pants, throw on your boyfriend's of-the-moment oversized college sweatshirt, and chug a Pumpkin Spice Choco-Chai to reach full basic potential, then read on to learn our top 5 tips for a chic fall excursion.

Perfect your winter skin.

Perfect your winter skin.

1. BARE SOME SKIN

As you know, it's officially the last season of the year in which any inch of skin can be fully exposed. With that in mind, we made our first stop at the Sun Aura resort, a nudist trailer park colony. The two chicest things about our stop? The front office windows were perfect for our first #NudistSelfie (unbeknownst to us, it was a two-way mirror). Secondly, the sweet ladies at the front desk would not accept that any of us were over the age of 21 (In an ironic twist, Liza celebrates the end of her youth today as she turns 28)! Disregarding the fact that photos are strictly forbidden on the Sun Aura property grounds, we asked one of the front desk ladies to be our stand-in photographer for the Leg Sundial, a famous roadside landmark. Which was chic for us, until the quick nudist pitstop turned into some real True Detective type shit, ending in a strange man's truck with no hand sanitizer. the horror.

What's the wifi password?!?!?

What's the wifi password?!?!?

2. GO GLAMPING

Grab your best girlfriends, the cheapest red wine you can find, a thrift store Patagucci, and pretend to know how to build a fire without vodka. But then also be sipping vodka.

Are saltines a safe firewood substitute?

Are saltines a safe firewood substitute?

Packing and preparation is key.

So, since you're feeling really, really really tired today, we've kindly compiled a list of the packing basics:

  • the cheapest champagne, preferable Cook's, to initiate the newest emoji into texts with your BFF
  • saltines as an "in case of emergency" carb / to soak-up morning after hangovers
  • sheepskin rug because #instagrams
  • plaid vomiting on everything, obviously
  • Target-purchased wood because what are the outdoors really?
  • Brown lipstick to match the bark you'll later pee on #NaturesPocket
Oh honey, there's no coffee in this mug.

Oh honey, there's no coffee in this mug.

Does my shadow look thin?

Does my shadow look thin?

3. LOVE LAYERS

Personally, we're used to layering - especially when it comes to avocado toast. But this is the time to wear every item in your closet purchased on sale from the J.Crew Outlet last year AT ONCE. Cashmere blend, cashmere blend, plaid-printed cashmere blend. 

drunks

4. EMBRACE THE OUTDOORS

But actually, just fill a mug with A LOT of boxed red wine and pretend you're not that cold. Then later, if you're still BRRR, play "slap the bag" until your pants look like you're an extra from The Walking Dead. Take our word, this works. 

Embracing nature is easier to do when you're drunk and unstable.

Embracing nature is easier to do when you're drunk and unstable.

5. TAKE ENGAGEMENT PICTURES

Who cares if you're single or even married?! It's golden hour, and that only lasts, like, 60 minutes. 

May your rock be bigger than your appetite.

May your rock be bigger than your appetite.

One more v.important tip, while you're still here. Don't put out your fire with the rest of the Yellow Tail Pinot Noir and expect to have the smoky burned wine stench not ignite your gag reflex (we recommend using water instead).

Welcoming our sweater bodies with open arms.

Welcoming our sweater bodies with open arms.

Our most thankful feelings to Marina for the pics and Kailyn for the hangovers. KISSES!