You're Still Fat

NEVER EATING AGAIN

Food, Holiday, Looqs, obesityCaitlin VanderKlokComment
The ham quickly disappeared from the scene and is assumed to be the lead person of interest in the case of missing self-control.

The ham quickly disappeared from the scene and is assumed to be the lead person of interest in the case of missing self-control.

the looqs: [bottom] american apparel striped tights, jeffrey campbell blue suede shoes, [top] vera wang!............. for kohl's tights, vintage blue suede shoes    

You know that feeling when you're half-a-bite away from your gut actually combusting, but you push it to the limit? Time to welcome your Thanksgiving hangover! We're officially DEAD DEAD DEAD after that seventh serving of marshmallow-covered-pumpkin-pie. "You are what you eat," they say, and to that, we say "KILL ME BEFORE I EAT ANOTHER." We'll be over here in a food coma, swearing off eating until....we see those extra leftovers in the fridge tonight.

So, let's attempt to lift our wrists and raise a glass to no crudité going untouched, your choice to heap a second servings of gravy over that kale and quinoa stuffing, pie for breakfast, and every available snack with your girlfriends this holiday season. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger (and fatter).

She thought three eggs would hold her over until lunch. They held her all the way to the grave.

She thought three eggs would hold her over until lunch. They held her all the way to the grave.

the looq: american appareal two-toned tights (similar), shoes that live in the bottom of liza's closet
Two remain in critical consumption condition after realizing they were eating SALTED butter. The horror.

Two remain in critical consumption condition after realizing they were eating SALTED butter. The horror.

the looqs: tights provided by caitlin's closet, old navy platform sneakers (on clearance now for $7!!!!), last season jeffrey campbell buckle flats
She used her tongue in place of a sponge, lacerating her gums and forcing her to rely solely on chocolate milkshakes and stomach bile until New Year's Eve. YUM!

She used her tongue in place of a sponge, lacerating her gums and forcing her to rely solely on chocolate milkshakes and stomach bile until New Year's Eve. YUM!

 the looq: tights by HUE, charles david mud-covered suede pumps 
The spaghetti was mislabeled as gluten free, she ate four pounds of it, and then she died.

The spaghetti was mislabeled as gluten free, she ate four pounds of it, and then she died.

the looqs: forever 21 mustard tights, target black loafers, heels dusted off from ca. 2009

Please remember to eat responsibly this holiday season. Plastic sporks in purses strongly encouraged.