You're Still Fat

Brat Daze

birth weight, Food, Guest PostEmily EatonComment
brat daze

While our Pitchfork hangovers were finally dwindling and we were able to meander back to our real lives, Emily dusted off the ole' Hot Dog Suit and attended a community event that can only be topped with a Kardashian wedding or extra mustard. 

 

By Emily Eaton

 

Last weekend, I packed my best turban and stretchy pants and ventured to Stacyville, Iowa for the first time to partake in an experience called "Brat Daze," an entire day dedicated to the celebration of bratwurst. Because who doesn't want to celebrate one of summer's quintessential delicacies? Inspired by all the food that was being shoveled into my mouth for 48 hours straight, I decided to create the piece of art below, titled "YSF in Iowa." Shoutout to Midwestern moms for "guilting" me into eating thirds! I'm still trying to remember the last time I felt hunger pain. God Bless America. 

YSF Sampler Platter, coming soon to your local Applebee's

YSF Sampler Platter, coming soon to your local Applebee's

Highlights of Brat Daze™:

  • Consuming four brats in one day and not having cardiac arrest. #ImStillFat
  • Passing out in the back of a pickup truck, on a lawn chair, in my swimsuit, holding a beer, at a softball game. 
  • The bowl of candy on every bedside table in the house.
  • Being asked by a local if I was an extra on Entourage. Chic for me!
  • BREAKFAST BRATS: brats stuffed with hash browns and hot cheese (This concept needs to be executed in the form of a food truck ASAP). 
  • Being reminded that the dip I was eating contained MSG. #iSleep

Low Points of Brat Daze™:

  • Coming home late after the community street dance and not being able to find the pan of cheesy hash browns. #HowCouldUBeSoHeartless
  • MSG headaches
  • The complete destruction of my styrofoam plate, crippling under the weight of the ribs it was holding. 
  • Putting on jeans from now until forever after I blacked out on Beer Cheese dip.
  • Kale for lunch on Monday.