Some bb with bad brows once snapchatted us "what you eat in private, you wear in public." And to that we say....."k." After googling 'eating clean' and only finding youtube videos of millenials under 100 lbs, we gave up and just put american cheese directly on our upper arms, eliminating the middle man.
In honor of god blessing the vets, four day weekends, and well-done third degree burns on the back thighs below your bun cheeks (you know the spot) we bring you the do's and absolfuckinlutely do-not's of BB-Q season. Dust off your last season are-these-still-chic birkenstocks, throw on a marimekko for Target caftan and swig some Skinny Girl margarita straight from the freezer, then find out how we made raw meat actually work as a really great & organic arch support. Chic!
Begin below the ankle with a vegan statement piece rich in primary colors and "nutrients." Bonus points if the banana peel acts as a moisturizer for your knock-off-mohawk-YSL callouses.
Let the meat-eaters in your life know that you're really into GMO's of every variety with all-beef accoutrements, wafting with the subtle romantic scent of the chargrilled season. Top it off with your own take on toppings, Chic-ago style.
Create a well-balanced ball-to-heel support with the perfect pairings of appeteasers, main, and dessert courses, all where the weight will end up eventually--your cankles!
Finally, steal the spotlight from the dessert table with some low calorie substitutes for your appendages. A pop of color & convenient calories = YUM!
Gingham-filled gratitude to Marina for eating the watermelon and snapping our v v raw looqs.