You're Still Fat

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In Chicness and in Health... and on Pinterest

fat(e), Features, looqs, LoveCaitlin VanderKlokComment
vanderklok wedding

It's that time of the year again, love is in the air and our bank accounts are officially lower than our current weight, courtesy of Crate & Barrel. We're baring all, shimmying into our roomiest tent dresses to watch our nearest and dearest sweat their way to the altar while silently praying for an open bar. 

True (love) story: today is Caitlin's third wedding anniversary. So she'll be taking center stage, which is chic for you, because you're basically invited to her wedding 2.0. So grease up those inner thighs, toss back a Xanax and prepare to let her walk you down the aisle. 

olia zavozina
vanderklok wedding cake

I know, you're shocked that I found a man that can put up with my kind of crazy, day in and out, for three whole years? Well, he's a psychologist, so... 

caitlin and ross

#TBT TO THAT TIME I WEIGHED LESS THAN 120 POUNDS AND STILL HAD THE METABOLISM TO HANDLE a few 40S AND FRIED CHICKEN EVERY NIGHT 

(I WAS SOUTHERN THEN, SO KING COBRA IS ALLOWED AND Encouraged). 

wedding rings
caitlin and ross

Now listen here, this was in 2012, and Pinterest was just becoming a thing, so I wasn't #blessed with the luxury of starting a secret wedding board when I was still VERY single and spending most of my nights surrounded by my friends, tequila shots. Instead, I had a slew of images from around the web that I had saved, and eventually just told my florist to "make it feel chic, I don't give a fuq beyond that."

So, in honor of my anniversary, and also the impending nuptials of our resident photographer Christina, Liza and I have compiled a wedding Pinterest board for you brides-to-be. Consider this YSF's congratulations on your engagement, and an account of what I may have done differently if I could go back three years and do it all over again with Pinterest by my side.

FOR INSTANCE:

The dress. My mom came down to Nashville one weekend to go dress shopping. After a balanced breakfast of one very large bacon and cheese omelette and three mimosas, we set out on the search for Mr. White.  Finding ourselves suffocating in aisles of lace and drunk Southern Belles, I quickly realized I needed to design my own dress. 

...and here's a chic looq we found on Pinterest:

Here's my dress:

olia zavozina caitlin
pinterest dress

Confession: there were three very obligatory details missing from my wedding. Fur, more fur, and Liza. (Our eyes met a few months later, while both eyeing the last doughnut at work. It's true, when you know, you just know...that the pastry was not meant to be shared).


The Bridesmaids. Spending $300 on a garment curated by yours truly is, in all honesty, a cheap styling appointment, but whatever. Since I actually liked my maids, they chose their own looqs and avoided being mistaken for an all-female choir. The result was really chic, but I'm still bitter I didn't find the perfect Pinterest look until 2 years later.

Reality:

vanderklok bridesmaids

The LBD can do no wrong, and with multiple lengths every bridesmaid is happy. Thanks, Pinterest! 

Dresses: Vera / Vera / Vera / Vera / Vera


The veil. To be clear, my "veil" was a piece of Italian lace that I thought would be kind of cute since I was marrying an Italian (disregard the Dutch last name), rather than a cathedral-length stunner. This Chanel veil is perfectly understated and breezy for a summer wedding. 

Look mom, no grays!

vanderklok veil

Bridal perfection veil of dreams.

chanel

The MOB looq. Pretty sure my mom bought her dress before we were engaged, so chic for her! Cue my impulse shopping gene. Either way, my mom has never and will probably never use Pinterest (albeit my multiple attempts at selling her on it). This one's just a pipe dream. 

HI MOM! Chic dress!

mom and dad

...only chicer with an eye patch!

MOB

The Honeymoon. Okay, Pinterest, I may as well be a f*cking world traveler because I'm all like "oh, this will be perfect when we attend a black tie event in Morocco! JK, we went to Tulum. Thought my hat was big enough until Pinterest waved her middle finger again in my direction.

Sombrero

big hat

All in all, our wedding day was absolutely divine. If I had a million dollars to do it all over again, I'd probably do it the exact same way and spend that money on my "Wishlist" pin board.... or maybe an extra cruditè.

Follow along on the action, excitement, and inspiration for your own wedding HERE

Also: YSF Pinterest board.

Also: We like this bitch's wedding looq! 

FOMO: An L.A. Hair Affair

Fashim, Features, PartiesCaitlin VanderKlokComment
Say extra cheese, plz.

Say extra cheese, plz.

Our west coast correspondent, Sean, is another year older (weird, we haven't aged a day!) and another year chicer.  To celebrate, he gathered a few of our favorite things: big hair, refined sugar and Domino's. 

Dawning a pearl-bedazzled Marie Antoinette-inspired wig, Sean greeted guests to a lush garden party with h'or de vourves of lobster rolls, fresh hummus and bean dip, a goat cheese tort, cucumber sandwiches, and crudités. A Britney Spears Barbie cake sporting a Lena Dunham-Emmy-inspired frosting looq added the ideal amount of class to the outdoor affair, inducing serious FOMO in our cold and bitter midwestern hearts. The final couture touch arrived via a man in uniform - Domino's Pizza with nine variations of Ranch dressing available on the table for guests (something that we will not forgive ourselves for missing for a really, really really long time). Oh, and there was a fruit salad set up to look like a pig.

sean's wig party
britney spears cake
seans wig party

There was a photo station (more pigs) next to a beautiful orange tree, setting the stage for the thinnest part of the party: the playlist for the evening, aptly titled "Sean's Quinceañera," which was made up of 80% tracks by Fifth Harmony, 20% mix between Britney and The Dreamgirls Soundtrack. And you know a good night's never complete without some incredible blacked-out karaoke. This is a fucking birthday party.

seans wig party
Not pictured: Carmen Electra

Not pictured: Carmen Electra

After realizing that people had been sticking forks into his wig all night, Sean decided it was time to move the night forward, so he took his giant wig to a hotel bar in West Hollywood for a (not so) much-needed nightcap. Special shoutout to Sean's late-night Uber driver who asked him to remove his wig so she could see out the back window, which Sean ineptly declined. Who, in their right mind, would ask a gay man in a Marie Antoinette wig to take it off?? As if! It's not like this is an UberX...shriek.

Happy birthday, bitch!