You're Still Fat

Ben Heinemann

Get the Fork Out

Chicago, Looqs, Music, VideoCaitlin VanderKlokComment
Not pictured: upper lip sweat

Not pictured: upper lip sweat

After an entire month of layering long sleeves under our caftans for the Dunkin Donuts drive thru line, summer finally decided to come out of the closet and reignite an old and familiar friend: our sweat glands. Between blotting our upper lips with tea tree sheets and sipping/slamming a few negroni slushies at Parson's, we realized the water weight we were losing deserved a celebration.  So we flew in our best YSF frenemies, slathered on the SPF 70, and got the fork out to Pitchfork Music Festival.

Special thigh claps to Ben, Emily + Mel for making it a moisty weekend and this video extra (large) special:

Post-Parson's Depression

Post-Parson's Depression

Raise a Perrier to a no-still-water weekend


Outfit details Nightgown/Cape: $5 bin Lincoln Park garage sale / Sunglasses: Kokorokoko / Turban: H&M / Liza striped dress: Banana Republic (SHRIEK!)

Taking a moment to air out 

Taking a moment to air out 

And since it's Friday, here's a gif to get you feeling frisky for the weekend: 



Guest Post, LoveBen HeinemannComment
really really gay

by ben heinemann


Sometimes you have a hard week, and then Friday rolls around and the world rights itself. This Friday has me feeling pretty #blessed for a number of reasons:

  1. I’m going to San Diego, also known as the whale’s vagina, but more importantly, McDonald’s is currently testing 24 hour breakfast in America’s Finest City. Does this mean I can put down the Ativan to get rid of the 10:30am cut-off anxiety?!
  2. The deep-fried Big Mac. Bai.
  3. Probably the most important, the Supreme Court declared same-sex marriage as a constitutional right.

In the immortal words of the elusive chanteuse, “It’s been a long time baby and it has been a rough road.” Being gay can be gay, but most of the time, being gay is pretty special. 

I’m hungry.

Background image via Fast Company

An Open Letter to MyFitnessPal

birth weight, Food, Guest PostBen HeinemannComment

Dear MyFitnessPal,

So, okay first of all, I know I'm only supposed to eat 1250 calories per day according to my goal weight of 72 lbs, but when I eat less than that, why do you yell at me instead of being like "Hey you're being super anno, chic for you!" 

But seriously though, your constant push notifications (which i SWEAR I disabled) where you mouth-harass me by saying "YOU DIDN'T ENTER IN YOUR BREAKFAST, DO YOU WANT TO ENTER IT IN NOW?!?!?!" are really harshing my mellow. And like, hello, does it look like I eat breakfast? 

I used to like you. I loved using your built-in barcode scanner to enter in my zero calorie La Croix that I had for lunch because I felt good about myself. When I went on a run, the first thing I did was enter the total time and distance into you, so I could see how many items at McDonald's I could order that night. 

And now what do you do? You send me more push notifications being like "oh, weird, that salad you got from ModMarket that you thought was healthy actually had way more sodium in it than I want you to be having, and you're already over your daily intake, so how about taking a break babe." 

Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines a "pal" as "a close friend." When you serve me blog posts on your main screen with titles like "How to Break Out of Your Workout Rut," that's not being a pal. That's just being really really bitchy because how did you know I haven't been to the gym in two weeks?

So please just stop. Stop it right now. You haven't even been correctly counting the steps from the built-in pedometer in my iPhone 6.