You're Still Fat

Christina Slaton

SAY HAI to the YSF Winter Collection

Fashim, Looqs, ShopCaitlin VanderKlokComment
Pondering our inevitable pie intake.

Pondering our inevitable pie intake.

YSF has literally had it's #biggestyearyet...you can factcheck our scales. So in honor of the temperatures (and our standards) dropping, we'd like you to meet the first official YSF Winter Collection.

Before we get into the collection and WTF you can swaddle your sweaterbody into, we'd like to note a few things we learned along the creation and fulfillment process of this faux-fur-filled journey:

  • "free" size does not mean one-size-fits-all, contrary to popular belief in China.
  • 5-7 business days is actually an eternity.
  • VanderKlok can be spelled 1,000+ different ways, yet still be delivered to the correct person, BLEST.

Now without further adieu, feast your eyes on the YSF Winter Collection Looqbooq:

Scroll AND shop BY CLICKING THROUGH EACH IMAGE TO THE PRODUCT PAGE. WE ACCEPT EVERY FORM OF PLASTIC, INCLUDING YOUR BOSS'S AMEX...chic!

Highlight your winter skin with these matte black temp tatts.

The bigger the hoop, the smaller the chin(s).

Frame your faux jawline and add volume to your looq where it's least expected: your brain.

Cheers to the chicest of ears.

Treat the Batali tote like a second stomach and fill accordingly.

This Thanksgiving, we're thankful for ladies like ChristinaTaylor, & Rhona for encompassing true beauty and putting up with our shrieky unshowered Sunday AM looqs. 



#Summertimethigh (A YSF Guide to Summer Day Drinking)

Food, Looqs, Chicago, ShopCaitlin VanderKlokComment
Does this flute make my wrists look thin?

Does this flute make my wrists look thin?

Every kween knows that #summertimechi means much more than pretending to like dancing in aerie high-waisted bikinis at Castaways, or the Saturday walk of shame, holding your flatform espadrilles after closing out The Apartment the night prior...shriek!  Oh bbs, it means so much more (read: DRINKING ON PATIOS). So in an effort to show you how to minimize your weight watchers points while maximizing your buzz, we said "OHHHHhhh, YUM," popped a tums and made our way to Old Town Social to taste test the best ways to make bevvies our breakfast, lunch and dinner. So break out the cat eye Le Specs, smear on colourpop's ultra matte lip, and make your instagram bio "rosé all day" (if it isn't already), then read on to savor our top 5 summer tips for liquid calorie consumption.

Toast every sip, no matter the size.

Toast every sip, no matter the size.

1. ALWAYS SPLIT A BOTTLE

As you know, when it comes to being fiscally responsible, we actually have no idea WTF we're doing. So when the wait staff recommends a bottle "to share," start with just one, then continue to split bottles until there's a 1:1 ratio of bottles to bodies. Think of this as a "small plates" food experience. It's less conspicuous and you get way more ice this way (so filling!).

Do you have like a really really really really long straw?

Do you have like a really really really really long straw?

Since you're already a little buzzed, here is a v v v v mathematical algorithm rule of thumb:

glass of rosé < bottle of Cook's < entire drink menu x 3 / ice = uber xxl

All for one...the bill that is.

All for one...the bill that is.

2. NEVER DRINK ALONE

This is an urban myth that only exists in places we've never been, like my grandma's bridge group. At times, a mason jar filled with an unknown substance found in the back of our desk drawer is the only way we get through M - F.  On that note, sharing a buzz is practically the first must of any summer survival guide. We recommend a subtle group-text of every drink emoji to your nearest and dearest, then expensing the drinks on their company AmEx to give your own wallet a little seasonal detox. 

YSF
YSF

3. DAY DRINK ON SUNDAYS

Put on your Sunday Best (whatever you wore last night). The bigger the shades, the better. Saunter out for brunch....with mimosas, bloody marys, prosecco, micheladas and rosè? After all, it is Lourde's day.

P.S. Interested in Liza's ice cream fascinator? US TOO! Chic news: you can get your own right HERE at ysf

SUNS OUT, TUMS OUT

SUNS OUT, TUMS OUT

4. EMBRACE DOUBLE-FISTING

Two desserts are always better than one, and the same rings true when it comes to quenching our thirst. Keeping a variety of flavors on hand to dabble between basically makes you a mixologist soooooooo....

This summer, we're most thankful for uber split fare.

This summer, we're most thankful for uber split fare.

5. CABS ARE YOUR BEST FRENEMY

This is actually true bc we're always always always always late and always always always a little drunk. (Disclaimer: we were an hour late to meet Christina for this and she STILL thinks we're chic, #godisreal)

While you're still here, a pro tip: never, under any circumstances, ever look at your uber ride history unless you'd really like to know what poverty actually feels like.

I'll take a bouquet of flowers  &amp; &nbsp;bubbles, thnx!

I'll take a bouquet of flowers & bubbles, thnx!

Special thanks to Christina for introducing us to the concept of wearing a napkin as a neck scarf, to Old Town Social for not kicking us out after sitting on top of 2-3 occupied booths, and to Flowers for Dreams for giving us a fragrant moment to mask our beer breath. We can't wait to not remember the next three months.


Hot Sauce on My Dress, #BLEST

Fashim, Food, Looqs, obesityLiza RushComment
Queuing for the Quesalupa

Queuing for the Quesalupa

As Lady Gaga walked the MJ runway in skyscraper platforms during NYFW, we were called upon by the carbs in our upper arms to give our (& our stomach's) #thots on this season's newest fashion accessory. Spoiler alert: It's even #BiggerThan the space between Kendall's thighs on the Michael Kors runway.  

Taco bell's quesalupa

Double the dairy for me, PLZ.

Double the dairy for me, PLZ.

Dolce, Dolce, Dulce de Leche

Dolce, Dolce, Dulce de Leche

Famished after driving two blocks to Taco Bell, we immediately stomped the salted runway to the counter, ordering a Cantina Margarita Freeze to SIP for flavor (then spit out). We continued to drink only Dos Equis and sour cream for the remainder of the meal, YUM!

Is Border  Sauce  complimentary?!??

Is Border Sauce complimentary?!??

Channeling Frieda Kahlo at Coachella, we layered black lace to accent our winter skin and swore off shaving for two weeks to emulate the ultimate Taco Belle.     

Consider this the Birkin   bag of 2k16

Consider this the Birkin bag of 2k16

Cradling the newest addition to our wardrobe (and waistline), we embraced the cheese-filled bebé swaddled in black foil and speckled with gold lamé highlights.

quesalupa
quesalupa

Finding that the secret ingredient settled deep into the folds of the fried tortilla, we quickly realized the resemblance to a Thom Browne taffeta tutu, and executed consumption accordingly.

our advice: eat it from the bottom. eat only the bottom. eat it all.

Fans swarm as the fragrance hits the pavement.

Fans swarm as the fragrance hits the pavement.

Offering much-needed versatility, the quesalupa is ideal for the fashionista-on-the-go, allowing calorie-filled bites between runway shows.

Quesalupa as my clutch, #clutch.

Quesalupa as my clutch, #clutch.

Disguise the pocketbook as vegan leather. Best served when sprinkled with half a Xanax for tasting.

For a quick snack, just the tip.

For a quick snack, just the tip.

The only thing greasier than our second serving was our hair. Chic for us!

quesa to go

Leftovers? Wrap it like an oversized Fendi cocoon coat and stuff it next to your under eye cream for later. Take it from us, your thighs are going to need it.

Special thanks to Taco Bell and Christina for helping us think outside our buns. Besos!