You're Still Fat

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Your Low-Cal Guide to #PFW

collections, fashion weekCaitlin VanderKlokComment

Happy Monday, freaks! In an effort to be fashionably late for Paris Fashion Week, we've rounded up who was in, what was out, and how many croissants went to waste. So pull up your balance ball chair, pretend to have a core and find out what you missed, who was dissed, and why Elton is pissed.

paris fashion week

Here's the skinny: 

  • Shriek of the Week: Dolce and Gabbana caused another stir from Milan by slamming IVF, gay marriage, etc...albeit that they're two gay men who had children walk their show last week. #BoycottDolceGabbana and throw away your sunglasses (we know they're fake anyway).
  • The Weasleys were shown up by Hogwarts' newest set of duplicates: Kim, Jared, and Draco.
  • Breakfast at Chanel: Calories of grapefruit presse, espresso, and hunks of baguette were served front row at Chanel, while models walked the runway at their birth weight.
  • Elisabeth von Thurn und Taxis (let's call her Liz) filled everyone's instagram feed, leaving a bad taste in our mouths. 
  • Life imitated art at Junya Wantanabe's presentation...now, if only we could fold our sizes in half...

You're Still Single

fat(e), Guest Post, Holiday, LoveMel SaffordComment

by mel safford

 

Happy Galentine's Day, bitches!! I hope you all are feelin' the love, and most importantly, the inner thigh chafe, on this beloved hallmark holiday. This year's big day is especially exciting for me as I'm marking the occasion with an inaugural You're Still Fat post (Disclaimer: I am YSF's biggest Stan. I love these women, their values, taste, and above all, Geneetra.). If we can't have a space to muse about arm cellulite, bloodies and donuts, then can we even? We can't. #YSF. Thx to da bawse ladiez and this wonderful community for the opportunity to b*tch and laugh and ramble on. X's! 

Anyhoosier, as resident YSF single lady (shout out to the Stedmans, Yanni and Ross), I am an obvious choice for Head Valentine's Correspondent. You see, V-Day is like NYE for singles...another year over, a new one just begun. A chance to reflect (selfies!) on what, rather, who we've done in the last year and what's to come. 

Oprah might say, "with every scorned Tinder lover, there is a lesson to be learned," or something like that. So grab your pencils, dust off your Bridget Jones DVD, twist off your SkinnyGirl Margarita caps and let's take a trip down memory lane, shall we?

Since V-Day 2014, I dated/went steady/loved/talked/hooked up/texted/had sumpin' with......

suitors

Honorable Mentions: 

  • The guy who played Johnny Utah in point break Live #fantasy #notsuhmuch
  • The guy you didn't realize looked just like your brother until the end of the date #shriek
  • All Man Buns: If they have a man bun and talk about said man bun, it's not going to work out.
  • All men from Minnesota. Love hockey, their moms, real estate, and cuddling. Find them, keep them.
  • Antoine Walker...Ginuwine...Winner of America's Got Talent....better as friends.

So how's your list go, friends? Call me, beep me, let's get brunch and laugh our a$$es off. Cheers bitches, you're still single. 

Until next time (#dryspell), Mels. xox