You're Still Fat

Kim Kardashian

Which Fashion Week Baby Are You?

Fashim, quiz, fashion week, birth weightLiza RushComment

You're freshly bathed, abundantly SPF-ed, draped in a vintage Miu Miu cape with a removable hood, and ready to take on Fashion Week. But now the question is - where to sit? Are you in a front row booster seat at the end of the runway next to Diane Kruger? Or are you closing Burberry in gold lamè chaps with mom? Did you even remember your La Perla knee-highs under your Celine onesie this morning? Luckily for you, we're here to prescribe you a baby Xanax for your trending temper tantrum. Put down your flaxseed chocolate milk and put on your last-season-Marc-by-Marc-Jacobs thinking cap (too soon?) to find out who your inner celebrity baby is at Fashion Week.


Your Low-Cal Guide to #PFW

collections, fashion weekCaitlin VanderKlokComment

Happy Monday, freaks! In an effort to be fashionably late for Paris Fashion Week, we've rounded up who was in, what was out, and how many croissants went to waste. So pull up your balance ball chair, pretend to have a core and find out what you missed, who was dissed, and why Elton is pissed.

paris fashion week

Here's the skinny: 

  • Shriek of the Week: Dolce and Gabbana caused another stir from Milan by slamming IVF, gay marriage, etc...albeit that they're two gay men who had children walk their show last week. #BoycottDolceGabbana and throw away your sunglasses (we know they're fake anyway).
  • The Weasleys were shown up by Hogwarts' newest set of duplicates: Kim, Jared, and Draco.
  • Breakfast at Chanel: Calories of grapefruit presse, espresso, and hunks of baguette were served front row at Chanel, while models walked the runway at their birth weight.
  • Elisabeth von Thurn und Taxis (let's call her Liz) filled everyone's instagram feed, leaving a bad taste in our mouths. 
  • Life imitated art at Junya Wantanabe's presentation...now, if only we could fold our sizes in half...

Isabelle Bonjean

Art, Fashim, FoodCaitlin VanderKlokComment

DISCLAIMER: NSFW.

DISCLAIMER: Writing this at work.

Isabelle Bonjean is chic not only for her name, which sounds like a little anorexic french lady smoking cigs in her underwear, but also for her shrieky-chic photography. She's like the (unimaginably) more fucked up version of a modern day Warhol. It tastes like vodka-soaked pop rocks going off inside your brain! Right? Isabelle, you make us want to paint our faces and take our shirts off. 

Typical family game night at the VanderKlok household, but with more beef on the arms.

Typical family game night at the VanderKlok household, but with more beef on the arms.

DIY IDEA for the girl on a budget: cut out Van Cleef and Arpels ads out of your Vogue and wear them like they're real! Diamonds don't necessitate clothing by any means.

If Holly Madison played Alice in Wonderland in a Christmas TV Special, it'd look something like this.

If Holly Madison played Alice in Wonderland in a Christmas TV Special, it'd look something like this.

"Here's a photo of me dressed as a bunny, holding a bunny, in front of Mt. Everest but behind a garbage bag, on Christmas Eve right before Santa showed up, with the beautiful brooch that I asked for, and a genie in a bottle in the corner. Christina Aguilera has always been my favorite Christmas album."

JUST A HINT OF RIBCAGE.

JUST A HINT OF RIBCAGE.

I only eat steak in lingerie
Kim Kardashian in vintage Valentino. Wait, is that the Sydney Opera house? WHERE AM I I THOUGHT THIS WAS VERSAILLES. Anyway, too bad she chose to go with  that hideous custom Givenchy  (JK Love you Ricardo!)

Kim Kardashian in vintage Valentino. Wait, is that the Sydney Opera house? WHERE AM I I THOUGHT THIS WAS VERSAILLES. Anyway, too bad she chose to go with that hideous custom Givenchy (JK Love you Ricardo!)

Doesn't this remind you of something you'd find on Kanye's "Dream Wedding" pinterest board? Cue: "Lady in REdddddd.....is dancing with meeee....."