You're Still Fat


Because It's the (Giant) Cup

fat(e), ChicagoLiza RushComment
lord stanley

Three times in six years, the Chicago Blackhawks have won the Stanley Cup, which is coincidentally equivalent to the number of times we've stepped onto an elliptical. Anywho, that got us thinking. How big is the cup actually? Can it hold 2 bottles of White Girl Rosè or maybe even 3? Can we use it on 7-Eleven bring your own cup day? (#dreams) Do free refills still apply?!! So we pulled our hands out of the bottom of the Lays bag and reverted to digging deep into the rolls of the interweb to find out just how hungry we were. (Spoiler alert: VERY)

The Cup can holds 172 large Salted Caramel Milkshakes from the Chicago Diner. That's 2.15 gallons of award-winning vegan milkshake - not counting the whipped cream. Size 18W bottoms up!

chicago diner milkshakes

Wash down the faux dairy with one of YSF's MVPs, refined sugar in the form of 200 Dunkin' Munchkins. Use the 497-cubic inches to add variety with chocolate glazed, powdered sugar, and even a few cinnamon sugar because we all know Chicago runs on Duncan (GET IT?!)*

dunkin munchkins

Keep your next snack light with 34.4 cups of quinoa for 137 Ikram salads. At 122 calories per salad, might as well make multiple farm-to-table trips for seconds. YUM! 

ikram cafe

Mirror the Cup structure with Dusek's Shellfish Tier and drown the Cup with 32 ramekins of their homemade Tabasco sauce - you know, just for a dollop of flavor. 


Now, it would be a sin if we didn't acknowledge the place where Lord Stanley is worshipped 365 days a year. The place where you once sported "formal shorts" with four-inch Steve Madden heels from DSW - in the middle of February. The place where you finished off the night at a hairless-chested-stranger's apartment overlooking the Golden Arches on Clark Ave: Wrigleyville. Where the drink of choice is two and a half 96-ounce vodka fishbowls from Merkle's, which is precisely how much the Cup (and our stomachs) can hold.

fish bowl

Counteract the inevitable hangover with a Vienna beef hot dog, 138 of them, actually, and fill the Cup to the brim, courtesy of Al's Beef

hot dogs

Cheers to you, Lord Stanley, for filling our hearts and stomachs. Until next year, when we fill the Cup with GMOs! 

*Full Disclosure: we know nothing about hockey, Mel was kind enough to mic drop some sporty knowledge. 

Images // Milkshake, Donuts, Ikram, Tabasco, Fish Bowl, Hot Dog