You're Still Fat

NYFW

Hot Sauce on My Dress, #BLEST

Fashim, Food, Looqs, obesityLiza RushComment
Queuing for the Quesalupa

Queuing for the Quesalupa

As Lady Gaga walked the MJ runway in skyscraper platforms during NYFW, we were called upon by the carbs in our upper arms to give our (& our stomach's) #thots on this season's newest fashion accessory. Spoiler alert: It's even #BiggerThan the space between Kendall's thighs on the Michael Kors runway.  

Taco bell's quesalupa

Double the dairy for me, PLZ.

Double the dairy for me, PLZ.

Dolce, Dolce, Dulce de Leche

Dolce, Dolce, Dulce de Leche

Famished after driving two blocks to Taco Bell, we immediately stomped the salted runway to the counter, ordering a Cantina Margarita Freeze to SIP for flavor (then spit out). We continued to drink only Dos Equis and sour cream for the remainder of the meal, YUM!

Is Border  Sauce  complimentary?!??

Is Border Sauce complimentary?!??

Channeling Frieda Kahlo at Coachella, we layered black lace to accent our winter skin and swore off shaving for two weeks to emulate the ultimate Taco Belle.     

Consider this the Birkin   bag of 2k16

Consider this the Birkin bag of 2k16

Cradling the newest addition to our wardrobe (and waistline), we embraced the cheese-filled bebé swaddled in black foil and speckled with gold lamé highlights.

quesalupa
quesalupa

Finding that the secret ingredient settled deep into the folds of the fried tortilla, we quickly realized the resemblance to a Thom Browne taffeta tutu, and executed consumption accordingly.

our advice: eat it from the bottom. eat only the bottom. eat it all.

Fans swarm as the fragrance hits the pavement.

Fans swarm as the fragrance hits the pavement.

Offering much-needed versatility, the quesalupa is ideal for the fashionista-on-the-go, allowing calorie-filled bites between runway shows.

Quesalupa as my clutch, #clutch.

Quesalupa as my clutch, #clutch.

Disguise the pocketbook as vegan leather. Best served when sprinkled with half a Xanax for tasting.

For a quick snack, just the tip.

For a quick snack, just the tip.

The only thing greasier than our second serving was our hair. Chic for us!

quesa to go

Leftovers? Wrap it like an oversized Fendi cocoon coat and stuff it next to your under eye cream for later. Take it from us, your thighs are going to need it.

Special thanks to Taco Bell and Christina for helping us think outside our buns. Besos!


Which Fashion Week Baby Are You?

Fashim, quiz, fashion week, birth weightLiza RushComment

You're freshly bathed, abundantly SPF-ed, draped in a vintage Miu Miu cape with a removable hood, and ready to take on Fashion Week. But now the question is - where to sit? Are you in a front row booster seat at the end of the runway next to Diane Kruger? Or are you closing Burberry in gold lamè chaps with mom? Did you even remember your La Perla knee-highs under your Celine onesie this morning? Luckily for you, we're here to prescribe you a baby Xanax for your trending temper tantrum. Put down your flaxseed chocolate milk and put on your last-season-Marc-by-Marc-Jacobs thinking cap (too soon?) to find out who your inner celebrity baby is at Fashion Week.


Your Low-Cal Guide to #NYFW

Fashim, Looqs, fashion weekCaitlin VanderKlokComment

Fashion Week is wrapping up in New York and we've been collaging in our burn book all about it. 

And as Lord Paul Cunningham declares "eat with your eyes" because we all know your thighs don't need it, adjust your retina screens now because your pupils are about to get really fat with take-out. I mean, takeaways: 

NYFW

Here's the skinny:

  • The manboob took on a whole new meaning at the Bushwick Drag Festival 
  • Nicki Minaj taught models how to Anaconda and our eyes were actually attacked with an anaconda of pre menstrual cramps.
  • The girls at Rodarte ditched their usual ethereal looqs for some heavy metal shit by faux-piercing everyone's eyebrows not just once, twice, three times a lady, but about 20 times. The looq gives a chicly subtle nod to ancient Chinese torture techniques to be channeled for your parents' wedding renewal!!!
  • Our favorite Duchess of Cambridge was blessed with nine months of over-eating (god bless) beginning with an appetizer full of vom.  
  • Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, why won't my husband allow me to dye my hair gray and pink like Dascha Polanco at Tracy Reese? We and the senior citizen community everywhere salute you, D.
  • Ashley and Mary Kate released a Vine video before the The Row show and, uh, we all realized their on-screen talent peaked at How the West was Fun
  • Anna Wintour still uses a flip phone which, is presumably why she never takes selfies. 
  • Not mentioned in this episode of "What Miley Wore": a tiger mask. Reviews still TBD if they complimented her bandaged nipples.
  • Anna answered 73 questions on Vogue Video and we learned that her longest-lasting employee is...her desk. 
  • Still realizing he'll never do chicer than Sarah Silverman, Jimmy Kimmel attempted to redeem himself yet again with his take on NYFW