You're Still Fat

big gulp

Summer Spirit Animal: Lily-Rose Depp

birth weight, LooqsCaitlin VanderKlokComment
Lily-Rose modeling YSF's daily recommended calorie intake for summer.

Lily-Rose modeling YSF's daily recommended calorie intake for summer.

May 27th marked the 16th birthday of Lily-Rose Depp and the day we found our soulmate for the next three, sweaty months. After much (needed) google-imaging of Johnny's first-born, we couldn't help but swallow the reasons why she's the Official YSF Summer Spirit Animal©. So we listed them out:  

  • Body of a 12-year-old

  • Karl loves her

  • Diet C. always always always in hand, a YSF gal's staple summer meal.

  • Eyebrows. One more time: EYEBROWS.

  • Youth (RIP)

  • French

lilyrose

L-R, as we like to call her, clearly knows that a girl needs her sustenance before a Target run (oh YUM, is that an In-N-Out?), and that the ideal accessory to a ripped-jeans-and-Docs looq is a dash of refined sugar. 

Simply by pairing a classic tee or tank tucked into jeans or jean shorts with a tiny Olsen arm, the giant food and drink items are perfectly complimented.

target
black jeans (beatles)

note the attention to proportion detail

lily-rose-melody-depp
big gulp

Our summer mantra? When life gives you lemons, buy a SUPER Big Gulp and squeeze that shit in there.

We really appreciate the amount of ice L-R puts in her Big Gulp. It's the summer. Ice is to be used as much and as often as possible, especially as a meal (except you, California).

And while you're at it, squeeze in a few dozen ice cream meals. It's only natural.

One scoop?! Make it two, I ain't drivin'.

One scoop?! Make it two, I ain't drivin'.


This post is in no way sponsored by or affiliated with Diet Coke, 7-11, Target or Baskin Robbins.

An Open Letter to MyFitnessPal

birth weight, Food, Guest PostBen HeinemannComment
myfitnesspal

Dear MyFitnessPal,

So, okay first of all, I know I'm only supposed to eat 1250 calories per day according to my goal weight of 72 lbs, but when I eat less than that, why do you yell at me instead of being like "Hey you're being super anno, chic for you!" 

But seriously though, your constant push notifications (which i SWEAR I disabled) where you mouth-harass me by saying "YOU DIDN'T ENTER IN YOUR BREAKFAST, DO YOU WANT TO ENTER IT IN NOW?!?!?!" are really harshing my mellow. And like, hello, does it look like I eat breakfast? 

I used to like you. I loved using your built-in barcode scanner to enter in my zero calorie La Croix that I had for lunch because I felt good about myself. When I went on a run, the first thing I did was enter the total time and distance into you, so I could see how many items at McDonald's I could order that night. 

And now what do you do? You send me more push notifications being like "oh, weird, that salad you got from ModMarket that you thought was healthy actually had way more sodium in it than I want you to be having, and you're already over your daily intake, so how about taking a break babe." 

Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines a "pal" as "a close friend." When you serve me blog posts on your main screen with titles like "How to Break Out of Your Workout Rut," that's not being a pal. That's just being really really bitchy because how did you know I haven't been to the gym in two weeks?

So please just stop. Stop it right now. You haven't even been correctly counting the steps from the built-in pedometer in my iPhone 6.

Whatever, 

Ben