You're Still Fat


Quiz: Which #sweaterbody Are You?

quiz, obesity, FoodCaitlin VanderKlokComment

If your monthly horoscope is looking shrieky AF, don't worry. There's something worth overeating for--and it's not what you're thinking. It's the prayer that has been answered all over the midwest: October is the most anorexic looqing you'll be all year (CUE THE BOXED WINE)! So in honor of the best news we've actually ever heard, we double-whipped up a little quiz for you to discover and perfect your own sweater body for the next five months and, if you're lucky, years. Follow your cravings and the questions below for something you're actually invited to sink your teeth into, and keep scrolling for some styled looqs to match your appetite.

Calorie counting strictly prohibited

sweater body

Found your #sweaterbody but don't know how to werq it? We've got a few ideas... 

eggplant emoji

If You're an eggplant emoji:

Stay relevant and searchable with this pound-sign pocket book.

turkey leg

if you're a turkey leg:

Wrap your (taco) leftovers and your body in a tin foil metallic moment with this two-piece showstopper.

la croix

If you're a peach-pear lacroix:

Show you're part business and part royalty with this mermaid sequined green bomber jacket.

cauliflower crust

If you're a cauliflower crust pizza:

Dress up your couch looq with this denim trench dress. Perfect for pretending to not have showered for three days when the takeout delivery (finally) gets to the door.

turkey bacon

if you're a single slice of turkey bacon:

Top off your wafer-thin body with a booshel of fur from Zara. Two-toned hues will add to your lack of dimension.

avocado toast

If you're Avocado Toast: 

Bring out that golden brown crust you acquired this summer with a squirt of mustard...around your neck.